Moving Through Grief with Grace Part 1

After my dad passed away, I struggled with writing. Everything seemed harder. Every little step felt like a giant step, so I didn’t take any. I became stuck, frozen. The lack of blog posts for the past two years and the delay in publishing my third novel are proof of this. However, recently, I began to thaw and crawl out of the giant iceberg I had been encased in, proving to myself that if we don’t ever completely move past grief, we can still move through it with grace.

Here are a few things I’ve learned to consider if you are struggling or frozen with grief this holiday season.

1. Resist the urge to act impulsively. Proverbs 8:12 “I wisdom dwell with prudence, and find out knowledge of witty inventions.” Merriam-Webster defines prudence as: 1) the ability to govern and discipline oneself by the use of reason; 2) skill and good judgment in the management of affairs and the use of resources; and 3) caution or circumspection as to danger or risk. I think all three of these definitions give some good food for thought. Before we decide to take our next step, we need to think, “Am I jumping in too soon?”

I almost published my novel without good editing. Thank the Lord I resisted that urge and listened to the advice of some of my author friends. Relationships and finances are also areas where we can get so overwhelmed that we jump into things because we are too emotionally exhausted to think, but we must act prudently. We must use reason and good judgment and consider the dangers or risks.

2. Ask for help and humbly accept advice. ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭15‬:‭22 “Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established.”

It's hard sometimes to ask for help. It takes courage. Last Thanksgiving, I was completely stuck with my manuscript. I just wanted to publish it and be done with it. I reached out to an author friend, and, to be honest, she didn’t tell me what I wanted to hear. She said my novel still needed work and wasn’t ready. I took her advice and her critiques and used that opportunity to grow. It is important who we ask for help from. This person needs to share our values and be trustworthy. They also need to be a truth-teller. It is also important how we respond to their advice. Much prayer and forethought are necessary. Our grief is not an excuse to lean on our own understanding, but rather an opportunity to trust in the Lord and the people He has put in our lives for guidance and godly wisdom.

If you’re frozen, try one small thing this week: pause before a big decision, ask someone you trust for honest feedback, and give yourself permission to grieve without guilt.

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